Saturday, May 21, 2005

Unleash the sadists within: "THOSE two academic lawyers from Deakin University in Melbourne have struck a bold blow for liberty in advocating the use of torture in our war on terrorism.

"You will have read their argument in Tuesday's Herald. 'The belief that torture is always wrong is … misguided and symptomatic of the alarmist and reflexive responses typically emanating from social commentators,' wrote Professor Mirko Bagaric, head of the Deakin law school, and his beautiful brunette assistant, law lecturer Julie Clarke.

"Questioned on ABC radio, the professor said that sticking needles under people's fingernails to cause excruciating pain would be the way to go. Even to the point of 'annihilation', although that 'only in extreme circumstances'.

"What a refreshing change from the leftie hand-wringing so common in our universities these days.

"And economically sound, too: no more need for rendering, as it is called, the expensive business of dispatching terrorist suspects for a spot of outsourced torture at the hands of the professionals in Egypt or Saudi Arabia. We can do it cheaper here at home.

"OBVIOUSLY there is not a moment to lose. I urge the Howard Government to act immediately, with an advertising campaign along these lines:

'ASIO, Director of Torture, Grade 6. Salary range $175-200K (plus benefits). The Australian Security Intelligence Organisation is seeking to recruit an experienced sadist to join the front line in the fight for freedom as head of its newly formed Directorate of Torture. The successful candidate will be a self-starter, demonstrating outstanding qualities of leadership and interpersonal violence. You will be forward looking and outcomes oriented, confident in managing stakeholder relationships in a dynamic environment, with extensive, hands-on experience in the administration of all forms of physical and psychological pain to subjects under interrogation, including the use of thumbscrews, the rack, near-drowning, partial garrotting, testicle crushing, solitary confinement and sleep deprivation, and the application of electricity to male and female genitalia. A postgraduate law degree would be desirable although not essential.'

"Surely there would be a rush of applications from right-thinking people eager to serve our country. Our free way of life is at stake."

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